As any parent can attest, a baby fighting sleep can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. Just when you think you've finally gotten them to drift off, they start fussing and fighting sleep all over again. I think it’s safe to say that during the first couple of years of life, sleep (or lack of it) is top of the list when it comes to new parent struggles.
While this can be frustrating, it's important to remember that there are many reasons why a baby won’t sleep –and many of these reasons are temporary. Understanding how best to support your baby if they are in a stage of fighting sleep is key for getting them – and you – the rest you need.
In this article we will explore why do babies fight sleep, including why a newborn fights sleep, and give you advice for your baby to fall asleep more soundly – without protest.
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Why Do Babies Fight Sleep?
Babies are known for their erratic sleep patterns and parents of babies may often find themselves wondering if you just have a fomo baby or if there’s a reason why your baby won’t sleep that maybe should be addressed.
The answer is there are many reasons why a baby fights sleep, and those reasons may change as they age and their sleep patterns and needs change.
While often a baby fighting sleep is a temporary phase, if your baby continues to fight sleep and you’re concerned, speak to your pediatrician for more personalized guidance.
Note: in this section we are referring to a baby who is older than 4 or 5 month old fighting sleep. Earlier than 4 months are considered a newborn fighting sleep, which we also touch on below.
Teething
Teething can be one answer to why do babies fight sleep. Teething often begins around 6 months, but often it can happen as early as 4 months, and continues until they have all their teeth. Sometimes teething can cause discomfort and pain in the gums, which can lead to your baby fighting sleep.
Sleep Regressions
Sleep regressions are a normal part of your baby's development that occur regularly over the first years of life, starting with the 4-month sleep regression followed by the 8-month sleep regression. Sleep regressions typically last 2-6 weeks; during that time, you may notice your baby fighting sleep. Patience and consistency in your routine during sleep regressions is key to helping them through a sleep regression.
Growth Spurts
Babies go through several growth spurts during their first year of life, and these spurts can disrupt their sleep patterns and make it seem like you have a baby fighting sleep. During a growth spurt they may wake up more often during the night.
Developmental Milestones
As babies reach new developmental milestones, such as rolling over, crawling, and sitting up, they may become more active and start fighting sleep. Many babies also like to practice their newfound skills in the middle of the night. Seeing your baby fighting naps is also common.
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Separation Anxiety (or Do You Have a FOMO Baby?)
Somewhere between 7 and 9 months of age, you might notice your baby seem more clingy than usual and you suddenly have a “FOMO baby”. The meaning of “FOMO baby” is a baby with a fear of missing out. When a baby is around 8-months old they start to understand ‘object permanence’ – basically now your baby knows that you exist and are somewhere, doing something, even though they can’t see you. Up until this point it was pretty much, out of sight, out of mind.
Nap Transitions
It’s common to have a baby fighting sleep at bedtime if they are sleeping too much during the day or are staying up too long between nap and bedtime. Nap transitions or dropping a nap happens as your baby’s wake windows get longer. Figuring out an age-appropriate sleep schedule and wake windows for your baby by age can help ensure your baby is getting the right amount of daytime sleep and is not overtired when it comes to bedtime.
Sleep Associations
A baby older than 4 months old can develop sleep associations, such as needing to be rocked or fed to sleep, which can make it difficult for them to fall asleep independently and cause them to fight sleep. Any parental support you offer to help them sleep – such as rocking, feeding or even singing – is something they can’t replicate on their own and is hindering them being able to fall asleep on their own.
Why Do Newborns Fight Sleep?
While it is normal for newborns to sleep for short periods of time, there are several reasons why you may see your newborn fighting sleep and have difficulty sleeping for longer stretches.
Hunger
One of the primary reasons newborns wake up so frequently or seem to fight sleep is they are hungry. During the first few months of life, babies have small stomachs and require frequent feedings throughout the night and day. It is not uncommon for newborns to wake up every 2-3 hours to feed – many feed even more often than that.
Discomfort
Newborns can be easily disturbed by discomfort. After being snug and warm in a regulated womb for nine months, adjusting to the outside world can take a bit of time. Common sources of discomfort include wet diapers, tight clothing, or feeling too hot or too cold. Also, since newborns aren’t used to lying on their backs on a cold mattress, not only may this feel unfamiliar, but it can also trigger the Moro reflex or startle reflex which can cause them to move in their sleep.
Sleep Cycles Out of Sync
Newborns have an immature circadian rhythm, so have not yet developed a clear understanding of the difference between night and day. The theory behind ‘nocturnal’ newborns are the motion of being moved around during the day in the womb lulls a baby to sleep, so they then spend nights awake. As your baby’s sleep cycles mature, which happens around 3 or 4 months, they likely will start to have an easier time falling asleep and staying asleep.
Reflux
Reflux occurs when the contents of the stomach flow back into the esophagus, causing discomfort and pain. Symptoms of reflux may include frequent spitting up, fussiness, and difficulty sleeping. Many babies have some degree of reflux.
How to Get a Baby to Stop Fighting Sleep
Prioritize Consistency
Consistency is key when it comes to solving why do babies fight sleep. Consistency in how you approach sleep, including bedtime routines, sleep environment, and general sleep schedule, prepares your baby for what to expect at sleep times, making it less likely they will fight sleep.
Sleep Training
Babies who fight sleep are smart – and if your baby knows that fighting and protesting sleep will get them more attention, they’ll keep on at it. If you have a 4-month or older baby fighting sleep, you may want to consider one of the many methods of sleep training. While sleep training is not for everyone, many parents find it to be the answer to how to get baby to stop fighting sleep. (Keep in mind it is often easier to sleep train a smaller baby than it is to sleep train a toddler.)
Support Separation Anxiety
To help babies who fight sleep because of separation anxiety feel more secure, try not to ‘sneak away’ at bedtime – instead let them know you’ll be back and practice leaving the room and returning as promised. This helps reassure them that you really are ‘right there’. If your baby falls asleep while you are in the room, and then wakes and you aren’t there, this may naturally trigger them to call out for you. Games like peek-a-boo and very simple hide and seek, either with people or objects, can help reinforce that feeling of security as they know you will return.
Give Them Space to Practice
To help your baby get used to falling asleep without fighting sleep, make sure your baby is fed, clean, and comfortable before putting them in their sleep space, sleepy but still awake. Give them time to settle themselves on their own and get comfortable falling asleep without your help.
Create a Sleep-Friendly Environment
Creating a sleep-friendly environment can also help your baby sleep better. Our resident pediatrician Dr. Craig Canapari says, "a cool, dark, and quiet environment is ideal for promoting restful sleep." Make sure your baby's sleep environment is comfortable and an ideal temperature for sleep and consider using a white (or brown) noise machine to drown out any disruptive noises.
Tweak Schedule
If you think your baby is fighting sleep because they aren’t tired, try shifting their bedtime to later or dropping a nap. Sometimes too much daytime sleep can make it harder to fall asleep at night. A baby drops mulitples naps throughout the first year of life – it’s important to know the signs of when to drop a nap.
How to Get Newborn to Stop Fighting Sleep
Ensure your newborn is getting enough to eat
- Feed your baby on demand, or every time they show signs of hunger
- Wake them from naps if it is time for a feed
- Never let them go longer than 2-4 hours between feeds
- Track feeds and sleeps so you can see patterns as they emerge
- Check in regularly with your pediatrician to make sure they growing well
Keep your newborn comfortable
- Swaddle until around 2-months of age or until it is safe to do so (you need to stop swaddling when your baby can roll front to back or back to front)
- Change diapers with each feed (at least for the first few weeks)
- Dress baby in one more layer than you’re wearing
- Keep the room 68-72F
- Let them sleep on you (but only if it’s done safely, you are awake, and they are under 4-months-old!)
- Try soothing them by gently rocking them or offering a pacifier
- Remember, you can’t spoil a newborn enough!
Help your newborn start to understand the difference between night and day
- Expose them to lots of natural light during the day and limit exposure to artificial light at night (ensure the sleep space is pitch dark)
- Always wake for feedings after 3-4 hours
- Establish a consistent bedtime routine that starts signals to your baby that it is time to sleep, such as a bath, lullaby, story time, or gentle rocking
Manage newborn reflux
- Try holding your baby in an upright position after feedings for at least 30 minutes
- Try feeding your baby smaller, more frequent meals and burping them frequently during feedings
- Talk to your pediatrician for personalized treatment recommendations
- Consider colic – reflux symptoms can be like those of colic, so it is important to work with your pediatrician to determine the underlying cause of your baby's sleep troubles
Final Thoughts
At some point or another, all babies and newborns will flight sleep. Whether it’s because they’re in a sleep regression, have teething pain, or want your attention, remaining consistent and ensuring your baby’s sleep schedule is optimized is the first sleep to getting them to stop fighting sleep – and start loving it.
If you’re struggling with your baby fighting sleep and can’t seem to get your baby to fall asleep without you comforting them, take this free 3-minute sleep quiz. The Smart Sleep Coach can create a custom sleep plan to address your baby’s sleep challenges and guide you step by step to sleep success.
